Kagome's Anthology
by animiction
Summary: For Kagome Higurashi, life is a mess. A series of short stories and poetry dedicated to the romance between Inuyasha and Kagome. Add a hint of angst and the story can begin.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Here's a simple, short reverse poem by "Kagome Higurashi". For those of you who don't know what reverse poems are, they are poems that can be read forwards or backwards. For this poem, when you read it forwards (from top to bottom), it's InuKag. Read it backwards (from bottom to top), it's InuKik, so this can show how Kagome feels confused about whether Inuyasha chooses her over Kikyou…or vice versa. Anyways, enough of my babbling, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

* * *

**_Inuyasha's Choice_**

He belongs to me  
Never think that  
He prefers Kikyou  
It is known throughout the lands  
He wants a girl that blushes  
How could anyone think  
His heart is hers  
It is definitely mine  
Whose fault is it  
That he lost Kikyou  
He is saddened  
I may face the same fate  
He hopes that  
We can be together for eternity  
It is impossible that  
He loves Kikyou  
Everyone whispers how  
We would make a perfect pair  
It is a lie that  
He thinks of Kikyou  
When he looks at me

* * *

**As usual, feedback would be greatly appreciated.**


	2. I Watched You

**I Watched You  
**

**Author's Note: I've finally started writing again! I had a mild case of writer's block, and I can't say it's gone right now. Life's been really busy and all….but anyways, this idea came up to me today, and I just had to type it out. Enjoy! **

**Warning: A bit angsty, character death and hinted suicide.**

**Summary: I watched as you noticed her before you saw me. I watched you spend each phase of your life with her. I waited until we could be together, and the rest is history.**

I watched as you noticed her before you saw me.

You introduced yourself, then asked for her name. It was only after she had introduced me as well did you first look at me.

Golden. Beautiful, warm, golden eyes.

We were only five, and yet, I felt this pull.

I watched your every move. Your smiles branded in my mind, your laughter filling my soul, your attitude striking a chord in me.

And yet, you never noticed. You never did.

* * *

I watched as you offered to swap lunches with her when she told you she hated tuna.

I disliked tuna as well, but I was a good girl and ate what my mom made me.

You gave her your slice of pizza, and savoured every bite of her sandwich.

What about me? What if I told you I hated tuna too? Would you have done the same?

I watched as you passed the ball to her when we played soccer together.

Kikyou would then pass it to me.

But the deed was done, the hurt was there.

And I was still so young, yet felt too much.

* * *

I watched as you asked her to our first school dance.

Valentine's Day, grade five.

She accepted with joy, gushing it all to me before bed.

Bankotsu had asked, Hojo had begged, but I refused them both.

Because all that filled my mind was amber eyes and silver strands.

Your cocky attitude, your sarcastic remarks.

You were the world to me.

And yet, you never noticed. You never did.

* * *

I watched as you twirled her in your arms at graduation.

Elementary school had been a long eight years.

I watched as you gave her your first kiss, and she gave you hers, on the porch after our graduation dinner.

And my heart shattered for the first time.

Somehow, I knew there would be many more to come.

* * *

I watched as you held her hand proudly on our first day in high school.

Showing your sweetheart off to the world.

We used to be the trio, the best friends in the world.

Yet I was left behind.

Kikyou treated me as her closest confidante, giving me the details of every single date.

My heart was sickened, yet I smiled for her sake and yours.

And yet, you never noticed. You never did.

* * *

I watched as you fought with her during our sophomore year.

It was a silly argument. She had seen you making out with Yura.

I watched as you came up to me and cried on my shoulder.

I comforted you, and you believed me.

How my heart broke, knowing you truly loved my sister.

And yet, I wanted you to be happy, so I pleaded with Kikyou to forgive you.

Two weeks later, you were with her again.

And the tears fell.

Like a broken heart shedding its tears.

* * *

I watched as you got on one knee during prom.

You looked dashing in your tuxedo, with your silver hair tied up for once.

The two of you together were the golden couple.

And when you took out a diamond ring and asked for her hand, something in my heart cracked once more.

I couldn't watch and left the room.

And yet, you didn't notice. I knew you never would.

* * *

I watched as you spent the four years of university with her.

I was left on my own, forming new friendships, meeting new people.

My best friends were no longer you and Kikyou, but Sango and Miroku.

I went on countless dates, yet the image of you with her would never go away.

I turned down more and more suitors.

None of them were you, so I couldn't say yes.

I knew I was destined to be alone.

All alone.

* * *

I watched as you got a fever two weeks before your wedding.

Kikyou had contracted it as well.

I couldn't help but think of the way how both of you caught that disease at the same time.

I visited you when you were asleep, bringing flowers and fruits with me.

You were breathing harshly in your sleep, the fever taking its toll on you.

It was then I decided to lean over, and whisper softly into your ear, before you were bound to another.

"I love you, Inuyasha. I've always loved you, and I always will."

I remember feeling terrified when I felt your clawed hand grasping my wrist as I turned to leave.

You weren't asleep, just too tired to open your eyes.

My embarrassment was cut off when I noted that look in your eyes.

A look I'd never seen before.

"Kagome," you whispered back. "Kagome, I love you too, yet we can never be together."

My dead heart beat once more at your words.

"What do you mean?"

"My love for you consumes my entire being, yet I owe Kikyou. I owe Kikyou my life. She loves me and she wants me, so I'll be there for her."

Then you pulled me into your arms and told me everything.

How Kikyou had done what I had failed to do.

How Kikyou had caught his heart ever since we were children.

Not because of her beauty, or because of her brains, but because she had defended him. His hanyou status.

She was the first to accept him for what he was, and he was truly grateful.

He loved her with gratitude, a certain respect.

He loved me with a passion.

He wanted to love me fully, yet he owed my sister his life.

He reminded me of all the times I'd forgotten or brushed aside. Times when he had pulled me into hugs, comforted me when I cried, helped me with my homework and chased off admirers.

I cried in his arms, realizing all I had noticed these years was his love for her, and being completely blind to the things he had done for me.

"I never realized you felt the same way," he told me softly, cradling me in his arms.

"I do," I cried my heart out. "I love you. I love you so much, Inuyasha. I love you."

I keep mumbling as I soak your shirt with tears.

"Kagome, let me love you tonight. Let me love you fully, and we can cherish this night forever."

I knew what you meant, any fool would.

And like a fool, I accepted.

Our lips met in a soft embrace.

I melted in your touch as we gave ourselves to each other.

Fully.

Completely.

For one night.

* * *

I watched as you said "I do", then lean in to kiss the bride.

I watched as you led her towards the audience, and I felt my feet drag under me.

You belonged to another, and yet I was still there.

We greeted like old friends, and I congratulated you and Kikyou.

Nothing had changed.

The wedding was beautifully planned, the dinner and cake were splendid.

Yet the turmoil inside me was dark and dreary.

You belonged to another.

That was the only thought that crossed my mind that evening.

And I think you noticed, I think you did.

* * *

I watched as she grasped your hand to catch your flight.

Your honeymoon in Europe, from Paris to Rome, to London, to Madrid.

I remember feeling pleased knowing I was your first, something Kikyou would never have. Never.

Then the unease and guilt that followed pushed me down.

I watched as you left with her, while I broke down in my mother's arms hours after you had gone.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Nothing mama, nothing at all."

Yet the tears continued to pour in streams.

I had a feeling they would never stop.

* * *

I watched as my belly grew larger and larger.

I had left my mother's home and gone to New York to work.

On an early spring morning, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

He had golden eyes, and silver strands.

My heart leapt with joy.

This was the product of our love.

I would cherish my baby, my precious son, with my life.

And it would be something you would never know.

* * *

I watched as Kikyou cradled your first daughter in her arms.

It was Christmas, and I had come home.

You lived with her in an apartment near the shrine where we grew up.

My son was with Sango, my true friend who had married Miroku after university.

I watched as you played with your daughter, noting the way fatherhood suited you.

And my heart broke once more, for both me and the son you would never know.

* * *

I watched as Kouga came into my life.

An accomplished lawyer, who was also my mother's new next door neighbor.

Kouga proposed to me after two years, and I accepted.

That was the only option I had.

* * *

I watched Kouga as I walked down the aisle.

Your eyes caught mine, and I noted the way you looked impassive.

It was like a dagger through my heart.

Yet I said "I do" and kissed my new husband.

I had asked my son to wear a black wig, and ordered especially strongly scented flowers so you couldn't catch his scent.

It worked, and it broke me even more.

How you brushed past our eight-year-old son without another glance.

* * *

I watched as the years flew past.

We had put that night aside, and became friends once more.

Sometimes, I could feel our easy friendship again.

Yet we only met once a year at most.

We were both busy with our lives.

I wanted to call you every night, feel you by my side every day.

I was certain there was never a woman who loved a man as much as I loved you.

And yet, you never noticed. You never did.

* * *

I watched my son grow up, and as soon as he turned twenty, he had found out all about you.

He confronted me one day, and I admitted everything.

Technology was shocking. He had found you simply using a laptop.

I watched him all the time on our flight to Tokyo.

He told me he didn't blame me, that he had known all along that Kouga wasn't his real father.

"Was your love with dad pure? Untainted?"

He was young, yet he knew so much.

"Yes, baby, yes it was. I still love him with all my heart."

"And Kouga?" He had refused to call Kouga "dad" anymore after his revelation.

"I love Kouga in a different way. Nothing compared to what I feel towards your father, but I do love him."

* * *

I watched as you were lifted into the ambulance.

I had always known you as a strong man, yet you looked like the weakest boy at that moment.

A drunk driver had hit you.

The man was no longer alive, yet you still breathed, but barely.

Kikyou cried, and I felt my heart break once more.

"Inuyasha, please stay alive…"

* * *

I watched as I held my son's hand at your funeral.

Your pale face was beautiful, even in death.

I felt Kouga approach me slowly.

"You've loved him all these years, right?"

I felt the shame and guilt overwhelming me.

"I thought I told you when I married you with my son."

"I thought you told me you were over him."

I barely paused to breathe as he continued, "The way you look at him, even now, is so much more than when you look at me. You will love him forever, but I have accepted that already. I've known all these years, yet I am too selfish to let you go."

Kouga promised to stay with me till death did us part.

He loved me; yet I deserved no such love.

I had only eyes for you.

When I said goodbye for the very last time, my heart shattered.

Kikyou was now a widow, who would love you forever as well.

* * *

I watched the setting sun on the balcony from your apartment, twenty floors up from the ground.

Kikyou was in her room mourning, with your daughter in her arms.

I watched as I felt you came next to me, putting an arm around me.

"Kagome, I can be with you now. I was with Kikyou in this life, but I will be with you forever."

I smiled up at you, watching as the sun glinted off your silver hair and your doggy ears. Your amber eyes filled with promises as you lean down to capture my lips once more.

"Yes, Inuyasha."

You held my hand, and I jumped.

Love is selfish,

And the rest is history.

**Feedback would be greatly appreciated~**


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